Adult version of the Grand Prize Game?

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Adult version of the Grand Prize Game?

Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2010
10:55 AM
By Joe Collins
CSNChicago.com

There are a few dates that stand out in Chicago's sports history: January 26, 1986. Or October 26, 2005. And of course, June 9, 2010. Even the novice Windy City sports fan could tell you that those dates represent the Bears Super Bowl XX win, the White Sox World Series championship and the day the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup, respectively. And I bet if you really thought about it, you could recall the day when you went to your first baseball game. Or the day when you scored a touchdown for your high school football team. Or the day your parents let you stay up late to watch Michael Jordan hang 50 on the Pistons.

October 12, 1988 was my first sports memory...and I use the term sports loosely. On that day, I went to see a taping of The Bozo Show at WGN's studios. And if you recall watching that show growing up, the centerpiece of that hour was always the Grand Prize Game. No question. It blew the rest of the show out of the water because it contained so many current sports or sports-like associations. And what's not to like about sports, right? It had: physical ability (throwing), accuracy, not choking under pressure, a live audience, TV cameras and rewards for good play.

A boy seated just in front of us was one of the kids picked. He easily made bucket one. And two. Then three. By the time he made bucket four, a strange hush fell over the studio. You know how when there's a perfect game going in baseball, a hushed giddiness overtakes the room? That's what the WGN studio was like: "Wow...he's perfect through four!" After he made bucket five, the scene was probably tantamount to what U.S. Cellular Field was like after the 8th inning of Mark Buehrle's perfect game: "This kid just might make history today!"

Then...he made bucket six. 2501 West Bradley Place went up for grabs. Lots of screaming. A standing ovation. It was like one of our own won a national championship. A bucket six win was extremely rare on The Grand Prize Game. I'm surprised that the audience didn't rush the stage and flip Cuddly Dudley's house over. The kid "pitched" a perfect game and now got the chance to dominate his block with his prizes: a new bicycle, 50 and a ransom of Archway cookies.

Of course, it's all a memory now. The closest that most adults (myself included) could ever come to reliving that kind of glory would be playing beer pong at 2am in some dank apartment. The 'bucket six' win would include generous cab fare and a steak burrito. But the 22nd anniversary of my Bozo Show trip got me thinking a little. What if there was a Grand Prize Game made specifically for adults? Or...a Grand Prize Game based on the real world? What would be in bucket one? Or two? Heck...what would be in bucket six? An adult wouldn't be satisfied with a kid's red wagon and Yahtzee, you know? So I came up with a few things that should be in life's version of the Grand Prize Game:
1. The Ability To Afford Something At The Mall - Unless you throw like Mariah Carey, life's version of bucket one should be a breeze. It's the easiest bucket in the game to make. A "trip to the mall" means you're, well, pretty much like everyone else in society: you can hang out at the mall and have disposable income. To me, bucket one represents the ability to make basic consumer purchases. Virtually anybody can do it. Metaphorically speaking, some people walk out of life's mall with a new 52-inch hi-def TV, or a pretzel from Auntie Anne's. Congratulations.

2. The Car - Owning a car means freedom. It's our first major purchase. It's manifest destiny on four tires. It's making the trip to the mall on your own (see bucket one) and parking the car yourself...not having Mommy drop you off. Many people take pride in the cars they drive. But still, owning a car doesn't mean all that much. Just look at all the cars on the inbound Dan Ryan at 8:00 on a weekday morning. Owning a car is nice, but it just means that you've "graduated" from hanging out in front of Hot Topic or Cinnabon for hours on end. (I should note that some people --city dwellers especially-- blatantly skip bucket two because either they don't have room for a car or are one of those air quality preachers who use "green" in every other word of their vocabulary. Which is fine, I guess.)

3. The EducationJob - Bucket two and three could theoretically be interchangeable. But I feel that a killer job and a nice education are harder to get. Thing is, without a killer income, you can't really walk into a dealership and get a 2011 Corvette either (unless you were wearing a ski mask, of course). But if you nail bucket three, people start taking you seriously. Think back to the first serious "congratulations" that you received. It wasn't from buying a jacket from Sears, was it? Or from leasing your first beat-up 1993 Chrysler LeBaron...right? I bet it was from somebody saying, "Damn...you have a diploma from (fill-in-the-blank party school)...nice!" or, "Hey...congratulations on the new job! You're buying us drinks next time!" Bucket three could serve as a nice springboard to the rest of your life.

4. The House - OK. You have the gift certificate from Foot Locker. You have keys to a car-- your own car. You're getting a steady income. Now it's time to get the house. Depending on where you are in life, bucket four could mean the move from Mom's basement to an apartment. Or a townhouse. Or a condo. Or to Oak Park. Maybe even Kenilworth, depending on who you know. Bucket four is "making the move" to bigger and better. (Note: if you are as cool and as humble as LeBron James, you get to start at bucket four).
5. The Girl - I'm not sure why, but on the TV version of The Grand Prize Game, it always seemed like people would clank bucket five. Was the pressure getting to them? Did they try to be too creative with their (ahem) pitch? It's the same in life. You might have the biggest house in the world and a diploma from Yale, but if you can't talk to girls (even if it's at a 4am bar in Uptown), there's a problem. Focus on bucket five, folks. You're almost there. Concentrate. And if your girl can go to football games, eat nachos and watch "Animal House" with you...sprint down to bucket five and hug it. You're already a winner. Don't let anyone steal that prize. And to clarify, bucket five doesn't represent the girl, it represents the girl. If things were that easy, this would be the prize in bucket two.

6. Everything You've Always Wanted - Fired up yet? You should be. I've painted a very Leave It To Beaver'ish picture of life. And I bet a lot of people don't think materialism should have any part on life's "bucket list" to guarantee happiness. Heck, I'm sure that some Grand Prize Games would have gone like this:

(1) Become college sports hero, (2) Ivy League education, (3) Kegstand champion, Panama City Spring Break 2007, (4) A girl, any girl (5) A kid, (6) Beach house in Malibu.

Or,

(1) Bachelor pad, (2) Miss February, (3) PowerBall win, (4) Cubs World Series win, (5) Streaking down Clark Street, (6) Telling stories with other streakers in jail later that night.

You get the point. I think bucket six should represent everything you ever wanted. It's what you make it to be. It's your own personal "championship" moment. Maybe it's your first kid being born. Maybe it's fame and fortune. Or heck, maybe it really is a Cubs championship--and not a Central Division one, either. Regardless, your bucket six moment should be everything that TV's bucket six was like-- crazy happiness.

Hopefully you get to bucket six someday.

And pardon the sappiness. Don't worry...I have a Die Hard DVD from bucket one.

Or something like that.

Sub-.500 Hawkeyes on four-game losing streak after home loss to Omaha

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USA TODAY

Sub-.500 Hawkeyes on four-game losing streak after home loss to Omaha

Things are not going too well in Iowa City.

The Hawkeyes saw their losing streak stretch to four games Saturday with an upsetting 98-89 home loss to Omaha.

Iowa has been a high-scoring team this season, entering the weekend with the Big Ten's No. 2 scoring offense at 85.6 points a game, but it's also been the league's worst defensive team, allowing an average of 85 points a game. And that's before the Mavericks nearly hit the century mark on Saturday.

The Hawkeyes were out-rebounded, including a big advantage for the Mavericks on the offensive boards, where they turned 19 offensive rebounds into 20 second-chance points. Omaha's bench outscored Iowa's bench, 37-9, and the Mavericks had a 40-26 scoring edge in the paint.

Trailing by six after allowing 53 first-half points, the Hawkeyes led for just 18 seconds over the game's final 21-plus minutes.

Peter Jok, the Big Ten's leading scorer, poured in 33 points in this one, though efficiency was not his strong suit, going 8-for-21 from the field. He added 10 rebounds for a double-double.

Iowa's losing streak stands at four, the loss to Omaha linking with losses to Virginia, Memphis and Notre Dame. In the last three games, the Hawkeyes have surrendered an average of 96.7 points. In four of their five losses on the season — the heretofore unmentioned one coming against Seton Hall — opponents have scored at least 91 points.

The Hawkeyes' only wins this season have come against Kennesaw State, Savannah State and Texas-Rio Grande Valley.

Iowa has five more non-conference games — including a date with ranked in-state rival Iowa State — prior to the start of Big Ten play at the end of the month.

Illini defense dominant in capping bounce-back week with win over VCU

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USA TODAY

Illini defense dominant in capping bounce-back week with win over VCU

What a difference a week makes.

Last week was a nightmare for Illinois, with a home loss to Winthrop followed by back-to-back double-digit losses to West Virginia and Florida State in Brooklyn.

But things went much differently this week, with Tuesday's win over North Carolina State paired with a Saturday victory over VCU to make for a bounce-back stretch for a team that looked lost just a handful of days ago.

Saturday's win in Miami came in convincing fashion, Illinois victorious by a 64-46 score over a team that's been to six straight NCAA tournaments.

The Illinois defense held VCU to its lowest scoring output since 2005. The Illini held the Rams to just 30.2-percent shooting and 2-for-18 shooting from 3-point range.

The Illini fell behind early in this one but countered VCU's opening success with a 19-3 run that put them ahead by eight in the closing minutes of the first half. That run featured seven points from Leron Black and five from Maloclm Hill, the start of huge games for both guys. A Hill buzzer-beater at the half gave Illinois its biggest lead of the opening 20 minutes at 10.

VCU scored 11 straight points in the early stages of the second half to chop a 12-point Illinois lead all the way down to one. Things stayed close until a 10-3 run by the Illini — featuring eight points from Jalen Coleman-Lands — stretched the Illinois edge back out to double digits, an 11-point lead with about three minutes to go. After a pair of VCU free throws, Hill knocked down a 3-pointer with two and a half minutes left to seal the game, establishing a 12-point advantage the stretched to nearly 20 by the final horn.

Black finished the game with a career-high 18 points, coming close to a double-double with eight rebounds. Hill had 16 points and filled the stat sheet with five assists, three rebounds, two steals and a block. Coleman-Lands was an unusual oh-fer from 3-point range but still scored in double figures with 12 points. Tracy Abrams was a perfect 3-for-3 from deep, accounting for all nine of his points, and had six rebounds and four assists.

Illinois sits at 6-3 on the season, two games better than it was a week ago after back-to-back wins against name opponents. Four more non-conference games are on the docket — against IUPUI, Central Michigan, BYU and Missouri — before the start of Big Ten play at the end of the month.