Random News of the Day: Blazing a trail

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Random News of the Day: Blazing a trail

Tuesday, July 6, 20101:08 PM

By Joe CollinsCSNChicago.com
Raise your hand if you've had enough of these NBA rumors.

I'm one of the people that just wants this story to end. Over the last week, we have seen the TMZ'ification of sports magnified to near unhealthy levels. Every day has involved sports paparazzi snapping photos and gathering video of NBA free agents outside restaurants, hotels, stadiums and office buildings. Every rumor contradicts the one that preceded it. The anticipation builds. The tension mounts. For a good amount of sports fans, this kind of theater is great entertainment.

But I need a break. We all do, I think. Just get it done already, you know?

People have different ways to ease their own stress and anxiety levels. For me, I head to the bike trail. You get your exercise, enjoy the scenery and boost your self-esteem a little. What's not to love?

Apparently, 10 things by my count.

I never realized the comedy that makes up a day at the jogging path or bike trail. It is loaded with people trying too hard, people relaxing too hard and people that simply got lost along the way. The trail is full of things that actually cause stress ... and not ease it. Here is a list of the top 10 characters on your neighborhood path:

1) The Swiss Army Trail Person: The comic relief of the bike trail. Since when did a walk in the park become so complicated? It's like somebody covered these guys in Krazy Glue and threw them into one of the shelves at Walgreens. Apparently, some people just cant go an hour without their iPodfanny packheadbandswristbandsleg warmersBluetoothsunglasseschrome novelty shaving kitAltoidscompact umbrellacar key ring holderchaw tinPower Bar holder ... etc. Its too much. Its not healthy.

2) The Lance Armstrong: Before I go on, I should mention that you need to check out the Tour de France on Versus ... even for a few minutes. Some of the crashes these guys endure are incredible. These bikers are fine ... as long as they stay in France. Do we really need them among all of the everyday walkers and joggers? The Lance Armstrong types have a trace of "Swiss Army Trail Person" in them as well: skin-tight spandex bike suit? Check. Livestrong bracelet? Check. Five-hundred-sixty-five dollars worth of safety gear from the mall? Check. Blitzing by you at 40 mph while ricocheting off a kid eating an ice cream cone, all-the-while shouting "ON YOUR LEFT"? You better believe thats a check. Of the hockey variety.

3) The Rollerblading Group: The rollerblading group always seems to look like they're getting filmed as part of a 1990s sitcom intro: carefree and all over the place. Lots of smiles, lots of bad skating, lots of potential accidents. Fortunately, this is where the Lance Armstrong guy comes in real handy.

4) The Marathon Trainer: I have trained for -- and completed -- three marathons in my life. Trust me, were among the most annoying people on the planet. Were the ones who do some kind of jump-rope dance at water fountains -- to maintain a jogging motion -- because we cant stop for anything. Were the ones that get furious if theres a loose pebble on the path. We hate everybody on bikes. We despise anything that moves slower than our own pace. We dont pay attention to red lights ... or flashing "don't walk" signals. Were the idiots you see jogging in a blizzardhail stormtornadoozone action dayflood. Were like that "Rudy" character ... only 23,281,293 times more annoying.

5) Johnny And Susie Chit-Chat: "Susie, I had a wonderful time with you on our first walking date. Mind if I call you again sometime? Wait ... say that again? Move where? Oh ... you mean off the bike trail? Oh, the bikers and joggers wont mind. The bike trail is big enough for everybody. They can go around us. I know we just walked three miles. Im just too lazy and ignorant to move another three feet off the asphalt and into the grass where well be more safe anyway. Were not hurting anyone. It's fine. Maybe Ill also fiddle with my cell phone while standing right in the middle of the path, too. I might even bend down to tie my shoes. Or even send a text message or two without looking up once to see if people are in my way. Let's do this again soon! Same time, same place?"

6) The Novelty Bike Crowd: Nothing says fun like trying to get out of the way of a wobbly penny farthing rider. And dont even get me started on the people that rent those "tandem" bikes like its an old Doublemint Gum commercial. If you're lucky, on a Saturday afternoon, you might come across a unicyclist juggling bowling pins, a chainsaw and a lit torch.

7) The Chalk Artisans: Look, I think its great that your friend is jamming at a club tonight with the seating capacity of seven and a 20 suggested donation at the door. Im fine with that. But Id rather not have the message chalk-scribbled on the bike path -- a message that Im going to run over in 4 ... 3 ... 2 ...1. Please move. Hand me a flyer instead. Then, when I get 20 feet away, I can throw it in the garbage can just like the other 2,000 that came before me.

8) The Family: No particular reason to add these guys ... but just add the word "family" to the end of any of the above categories. Maalox suggested.

9) The Skateboarding Gang: A pure crack-up because they can never get those jumps down pat, can they? Keep practicing the ollies, guys. Maybe on the 943rd try youll get it. And hopefully by that time youll be doing it in a TJ Maxx parking lot, where you won't be accidentally ramming skateboards into people's shins.

And finally...

10) The Stroller-Joggers: The only redeeming quality about this situation is that the kids in the seat don't fully realize the embarrassment factor. For a woman to be a stroller-jogger is one thing. But for a man, isn't that pretty much the end? I mean, you might as well buy the minivan, Pete Yorn songs, mineral water and endless supply of polo shirts that go along with it.

A happy list!

I almost want to hear more NBA rumors.

Or something like that.

Joe Collins is an assignment desk editor for Comcast SportsNet and contributor to CSNChicago.com.

Bears linebacker Lamarr Houston rips 'arrogant' Aaron Rodgers in ESPN interview

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Bears linebacker Lamarr Houston rips 'arrogant' Aaron Rodgers in ESPN interview

Three days after the conclusion of the NFL Draft, Lamarr Houston already fired the first shot in the new chapter of the Bears-Packers rivalry.

After the Bears beat the Packers on Thanksgiving night last season, Houston spouted off on Aaron Rodgers, saying, "I give two flying you know what about him. I really don't like that guy."

The Bears linebacker made an appearance on ESPN's SportsNation Monday and further explained his issue with the Green Bay quarterback, including Rodgers' championship belt celebration:

"He's a little arrogant for me," Houston said. "He's a little too arrogant. He's a cheesehead. I'm a Bear; he's a cheesehead. I have a lot of respect for his game, I will say that. He's a great quarterback and as a player, I have a lot of respect for his game. That whole championship belt thing kinda gets on my nerves."

When asked if Rodgers has ever displayed this arrogance on the field besides the celebration, Houston said:

"He's chimed a few words to me before. And I'll keep that to myself."

It's particularly interesting that Houston takes issue with Rodgers' celebrations considering the linebacker tore his ACL celebrating a sack in the Bears' blowout loss to the New England Patriots in 2014.

Houston recorded seven tackles and a sack of Rodgers in that Thanksgiving matchup last season.

The Bears meet the Packers at Lambeau Field in Week 7 and host Rodgers and Co. at Soldier Field Week 15 in 2016.

Blackhawks' Artem Anisimov undergoes wrist surgery

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Blackhawks' Artem Anisimov undergoes wrist surgery

Artem Anisimov said last week that he and the Blackhawks had to make the most of this offseason to be prepared for 2016-17. On Tuesday, he took care of something that was apparently ailing him.

Anisimov underwent surgery on Tuesday to repair an injury to his right wrist. Blackhawks team physician Dr. Michael Terry said in a statement that, “the surgery went well. We anticipate his return to full hockey activities in approximately six to eight weeks.”

The 27-year-old center played in 77 regular-season and all seven postseason games for the Blackhawks. He was tied for second on the team with three postseason goals (with Marian Hossa and Duncan Keith).

During last week’s closing meetings, Anisimov said he was going to stay in the Chicago area “for a while” before returning to Russia. He also talked about finding the silver lining in the Blackhawks’ early playoff exit.

“We just need to spend our summer wisely, get prepared for the next season and move forward,” he said.

Kameron Chatman the latest to transfer away from Michigan basketball

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Kameron Chatman the latest to transfer away from Michigan basketball

Players keep leaving the Michigan basketball program.

An offseason of roster turnover continued Tuesday, when the school announced that junior-to-be Kameron Chatman has been granted a release from his scholarship and will transfer.

"I honestly don't think I could have had a more quality life experience than I did in Ann Arbor," Chatman said in the announcement. "I am incredibly grateful for my two years at Michigan. I would like to thank coach (John) Beilein and his entire staff for taking a chance on a small-town kid out of Portland. I know my experience has inspired others as I will take all of my lessons learned to continue my pursuit of becoming the best man and player I can. Go Blue!"

"Kam is a wonderful young man with the potential to mature into a fine college player," Beilein said. "We have enjoyed coaching him over the past two years and wish him nothing but the best."

Chatman becomes the fourth player to transfer out of the program this offseason, joining Spike Albrecht, Ricky Doyle and Aubrey Dawkins. Albrecht announced his decision to attend Purdue on Tuesday, and Dawkins is planning a move to Central Florida so he can play for his father.

Chatman started 17 games over his two seasons with the Wolverines, averaging 3.2 points and two rebounds per game.

Last season, he hit a buzzer-beating, game-winning shot in the Big Ten Tournament to lift Michigan to an upset of top-seeded Indiana. The shot gave the Wolverines a signature win and likely was the difference in the team making th NCAA tournament field.

Chatman was a four-star recruit out of high school, ranked as the No. 25 player in the Class of 2014. He was part of a six-man Michigan recruiting class that season, only two of which remain in Ann Arbor.

Due to NCAA rules, Chatman will have to sit out next season before playing his final two years of eligibility at his next school.