Brian Scalabrine is coming home.
The former Bulls forward announced his decision to return to the broadcasting booth in Boston with a LeBron-spoofed letter on CSNNE.com, in which he stated, "I’m ready to accept the Scallenge. Boston, I’m coming home."
No, this news won't create the same stir around the NBA as it did when James published his decision to return to the Cavaliers last month. But still, it's a pretty brilliant move from the White Mamba to spoof James' decision in announcing his return back to the Celtics, where he played five seasons and was part of the team's 2008 championship, as a broadcaster for CSN New England.
The 36-year-old, who played his final two NBA seasons with the Bulls, said he considers Chicago his "third home" and expounded hilariously on why he opted to team up with Derrick Rose in the Windy City.
"I went to Chicago because of (Tom Thibodeau) and D-Rose and the crazy energy of Joakim Noah, and it was my only job offer in the states. I loved becoming an everyday customer at Giordano’s Pizza, the free meals were back. I loved the fans and the creation of the White Mamba by Stacy King. Chicago was exactly what I needed and I believed we could do something magical if we came together. But we fell short. So I took my talents to Golden State searching for their championship and I really believed we could do something magical if we came together. But then I was sent down to the D-League where we flew to Hidalgo, TX on commercial flights with no first class sitting next to a 7’2” center named Ognjen Kuzmic. There was nothing magical happening down there, no matter how much we came together. And that’s when I knew it was time to come home."
Scalabrine was part of two Bulls teams that finished the regular season with the league's best record both times but couldn't get past the Miami Heat hump. Granted, Scalabrine averaged just 1.1 points per game in 46 games with the Bulls, but he quickly became a fan favorite like he had previously in New Jersey and Boston.
The White Mamba also mentioned Chicago briefly in other parts of the letter, including:
In spoofing James saying Miami was like going to college: "Chicago, for me, has always been like graduate school. I myself had always considered getting my MBA at Northwestern. These past four years helped bolster my resume to showcase the well-rounded individual I am."
In spoofing James admitting he went to Miami looking for a championship: "When I left Boston, I was on a mission. I was seeking another championship. I wanted to ride in another parade, pop enormous bottles of champagne, and maybe even crash the podium. But Chicago already knew that feeling with MJ..."
In spoofing James saying he was only going to consider the Cavaliers in free agency: "I looked at other teams, but I wasn’t going to leave Oakland for anywhere except Boston…or maybe Chicago…or maybe Brooklyn…or possibly Los Angeles to go back with Doc. The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy."
Be sure to read Scalabrine's entire letter. Glad you're home, Mamba.