Random News Of The Day: Super Bowl Ads

Random News Of The Day: Super Bowl Ads

Sunday, Feb. 6, 2011
10:00 p.m.

By Joe Collins
CSNChicago.com

I was going to write a Super Bowl commercial pieceand it almost got completely derailed once the National Anthem started. Not so much because Christina Aguilera botched the lyrics, but because of this: is it me or does she look like an early-90s version of Cyndi Lauper? Or maybe Snookis long-lost cousin? I had 3-4 paragraphs written on the topic before she finished the song. Oh well, maybe that column will have to come another day.

Anyway

Super Bowl commercials are almost as big as the game itself. If you have ever thrown a party for the big game, there is always that guy that watches the game just for the commercials. Yes, Im that guy. Without the Bears to get excited (or freaked out) about, I had no emotional interest in the game itself. The time would much rather be served by taking in some advertising Americana. After all, these things help keep the economy rolling along, right? These are my five best and worstcommercials seen between 5:00pm CT and the time our beloved northern friends hoisted the Vince Lombardi trophy:
THE FIVE BEST:

--DORITOS FINGER LICKING:

Much like Mother Nature did last week, Doritos simply dominated. Their Pug ad was pretty good, but the Finger Licking ad was one of the best. An office worker gets bummed out after his coworker eats all of the Doritos. So what does he do? He licks the residue off his fingers. Later, another coworker wipes the Doritos residue on the side of his pants and...you can fill in the blank from there. Hey, it doesnt hurt to be a little creepy in commercials, as long as you dont push the envelope too far.

--CHRYSLERIMPORTED FROM DETROIT:

Eminem appeared in two spots in Super Bowl XLV. The first one was by Brisk, featuring the rhyming Eight Mile-er in Claymation. This second one by Chrysler was pretty slick. It featured a remixed Lose Yourself as a backdrop. The driver cruises past various sites in Detroit: The Joe Louis Fist, The Fox Theateretc. Its a bit long 2:00but they got it right with Eminem. Kid Rock and Bob Seger couldnt pull that off.

--DORITOSHOUSE SITTING:

Doritos had three commercials air in the first quarter. The House Sitting one rivaled the Finger Licker. A house sitter notices that the owners fish has gone belly up. He springs him back to life by throwing a few chips into the bowl. He then accidentally knocks over an urn (containing grandpas ashes), spilling the contents all over the floor. Like the fish, the old codger comes back to life thanks to the magical power of, you guessed it, the triangular corn chip.

--VOLKSWAGEN THE FORCE:

Pint-sized Darth Vader uses The Force on things around the house: the washerdryer, the family dog, a doll and his fathers Volkswagen Passat. But the Passat has a surprise for the young Vader, thanks to an assist from Dad. Worth a chuckle.

--BRIDGESTONE REPLY ALL:

Nothing says fun like accidentally hitting reply all on an office email. One guy figures that out the hard way. He goes on an adventure with help from Bridgestone Tiresto try and stop the message from reaching the unintended targets.

Note: The Budweiser Tiny Dancer one just missed the cut.

THE FIVE WORST:

--PEPSI LOVE HURTS:

I thought it was a pretty mediocre Super Bowl year for Pepsi commercials. This particular commercial and the Pepsi Max Can To The Groin spot were tepid at best. Pepsi did have a decent showing on the Blind Date spot, where the girl is internally over-analyzing about the guy shes withand the guy just wants, well, the obvious. Then, he gets distracted by a Pepsi Max and all he wants is that. Meh.

--COKE THE SEIGE

Much like the Black Eyed Peas halftime show, this spot was overproduced and bloated. Cokes Border commercial made up for this one a little bit, where one guardsman alters the border of his country to give his neighbor a drink.

--BEST BUY OZZY OSBOURNE & JUSTIN BIEBER:

There are only two people in the world who, no matter what they say, will be funny: Mike Tyson and Christopher Walken. Ozzy Osbourne is a close third. Unfortunately, he doesnt get much to say here. No memorable lines. Justin Bieber didnt add much either. The space age backdrop didnt make it for me. Too busy and confusing.

-- POPCORN:

Not really sure what the advertisement was for (I didnt see any specific popcorn corporate logos or anything), but they showed a bunch of guys watching the Super Bowl from the high roller suites. Then they showed Cameron Diaz feeding Alex Rodriguez and it-- -errr uhm. Oh wait. That wasnt a commericial.

--GO DADDY JOAN RIVERS:

Having Danica Patrick seduce mass audience is one thing. But Joan Rivers? Really?

What do you think? What were your top five? Or bottom five?

At the very least, we can hope the Bears are in the Super Bowl next year. We wouldnt have to analyze the commercials that much.

Or something like that.

Bears defensive problems vs. Cowboys not complicated (unfortunately)

Bears defensive problems vs. Cowboys not complicated (unfortunately)

That the Dallas Cowboys were able to put 447 yards, almost 200 of them running the football, and 31 points on the Bears was concerning in itself. The way much of it happened, however, was perhaps more concerning, even if not completely surprising.

And the issues were in more than one area.

The rushing yards, of which 140 were provided on 30 carries by rookie Ezekiel Elliott, were largely gained by simply pounding away on an undermanned Bears front seven. The Bears have allowed 10 runs of 10 yards or more; five of those came in Dallas.

The problem was an alarmingly simple one. Not scheme, not missed assignments.

“We were getting blocked and not getting off blocks well enough,” defensive coordinator Vic Fangio said on Wednesday. “But basically getting blocked most of the time, a guy or two every time was just getting blocked.”

The defense was without linchpin and nose tackle Eddie Goldman (ankle) as well as inside linebacker and co-captain Danny Trevathan. In Trevathan’s spot, rookie Nick Kwiatkoski started and played on 18 of Dallas’ snaps (26 percent).

He did OK,” Fangio said. “Again, he was part of those guys that got blocked some. Had some good plays, some not so good. The first play of the game that popped out of there for 21 yards, he was at the point of attack on that one. It was OK, hope for better, expect better moving forward.”

The Bears use something of a hybrid form of gap control, not strictly two-gap with linemen responsible for gaps on either side of the blocker in front of them, and not strictly one-gap, with a tighter responsibility but with expectations that the defender get more penetration and disruption.

The system is what one lineman described as “gap-and-a-half,” playing their assigned gap but also with responsibility to help out with one other assigned gap. They are not head-up on offensive linemen, being slightly shaded toward a gap a’la one-gap schemes most of the time.

[SHOP: Gear up Bears fans!]

The Bears generally were unable to control either their assigned or their secondary gaps.

The issues were not confined to the run defense. The Bears’ pass rush was virtually non-existent (zero sacks, one hit on Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott) and yet it allowed Prescott to scramble free three times, converting first downs on all three.

“Our rush wasn’t good enough when they weren’t throwing it quick,” Fangio said, “and it was evident by the times [Prescott] scrambled. He scrambled three times for first downs and they hurt us.

“Our rush wasn’t good enough. There are a lot of passes that the rush won’t be a factor because it is coming out fast. But we have to get better coverage to make them hold the ball longer, too.”

Bears have run hurry-up offense, Brian Hoyer style

Bears have run hurry-up offense, Brian Hoyer style

Brian Hoyer spent Wednesday’s practice as the presumptive No. 1 quarterback, sources said, and with Jay Cutler limited due to his thumb injury, the Bears began prep for the Detroit Lions next Sunday in Soldier Field with Hoyer getting more used to the offense that he has only sparingly run since training camp.

Some of Hoyer’s teammates spent Wednesday’s practice getting a little more used to him.

A veteran of 27 NFL starts, Hoyer doesn’t do things the way Cutler does them. He doesn’t throw as hard. He doesn’t throw as far. And he runs a sort-of hurry-up offense compared to Cutler.

“Hoyer has a real good sense of urgency to him,” said left tackle Charles Leno Jr. “He’s more fast paced. He likes to quicken up things, whether it’s the cadence, the flow – he just has a real natural sense of urgency about himself.”

This involves more than just a feeling. The Bears ARE faster under Hoyer, based on one very unofficial measure, because game situations differ even though the Bears ultimately lost all three games.

[SHOP BEARS: Get your Bears gear right here]

Based on snaps and time played, the Bears have run 2.2 plays per minute with Cutler. They have run 2.6 per minute, approaching 20 percent more, under “urgent” Hoyer.

The play rate, however, is not entirely on the quarterback. Like all teams, the Bears build tempos into their system, and defenses also dictate some of how the Bears elect to work.

Still, “Jay is more laid back, more relaxed, even-keeled,” Leno said, smiling. “But that’s just Hoyer, more sense of urgency."