It's Emilio Bonifacio's world and we're just living in it.
The Cubs picked the 28-year-old journeyman off the scrap heap in spring training after he was cut by the Royals, and Bonifacio has responded by reaching base 10 times in his first two games.
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He collected four hits and a stolen base on Opening Day Monday and added five more singles and an intentional walk (to go with two steals and a run) in Wednesday's 16-inning affair.
The nine hits is an MLB record. Four players have collected at four hits in their first two games, but nobody has nine safeties in a two-game span to open the season.
Bonifacio, a utility man who can play the infield and outfield, got the start in center field Monday and started at second base Wednesday before shifting over to shortstop when Starlin Castro was removed.
After two games, he's hitting .750 with a .769 on-base percentage, prompting plenty of "Emilio!" jokes on Twitter.
Bonifacio's success at the plate hasn't helped the Cubs, as they dropped each of the first two games in extra innings.
More fun with numbers from Wednesday's game:
--At five hours, 55 minutes, this was the longest game in Pittsburgh history.
--The Cubs came within a few minutes of tying the longest game in franchise history, which sits at six hours, 10 minutes.
--The last time the Cubs started the season with back-to-back games in extra innings was in 1964, also in Pittsburgh.
--Carlos Villanueva: first pitcher to get loss in team's first two games since Ryan Madson (PHI) in 2007. (h/t @ckamka)
--The Pirates have opened their season with back-to-back walk-off victories for the first time in franchise history. (h/t @BRefPlayIndex)