Random News: Tricks, Treats and Travesties

Random News: Tricks, Treats and Travesties

Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2010
10:57 AM

By Joe Collins
CSNChicago.com

Do you remember when Halloween was just about...candy? Some of my favorite childhood memories centered around Halloween. It was candy capitalism at its finest. If Halloween fell during a weekday, the fun would start around noon. The elementary school I went to would always have this campy costume parade followed by a potluck banquet of cupcakes, brownies and other assortments of refined sugars. It was like the pregame ceremony for what would transpire in the neighborhoods at night. And if Halloween fell on a weekend? Hoo boy...take cover. We would start ransacking the neighborhood at 9am, looking for Twix bars, Butterfingers or whatever else we could get our hands on. The best part of it all: it didn't even matter what costume you were wearing. I mean, name another day on the calendar when you can put on a flannel shirt, call yourself a "bum" and start ringing doorbells for candy (another fringe benefit of growing up in the NirvanaSoundgardenPearl Jam "grunge" era). But the best part of all: besides the parents telling us what time to be home, the day was relatively adult free.

Unfortunately, times have changed.

Halloween is rocketing towards New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day in the race for the "Most Annoying Day on the Calendar" award. Adults have wrestled the holiday away from kids and have made it their own. It's a joke. 20 and 30-somethings have turned Halloween into a celebration of ironic humor and debauchery. In today's "grown-up" Halloween world, guys usually gravitate towards celebrating a character from their youth. For instance, if they can muster up a cheap black suit, a fedora hat, a pair of sunglasses and a buddy with the same getup....POOF, you have the Blues Brothers. As for the girls, all they have to do is find an occupation and put the word "sexy" in front of it. Instant costume. Mix all the ingredients at a bar and serve while hot.

But I do realize that this newfangled holiday won't be going anywhere in the near future. It's only going to gain steam until bouncers start fleecing 50 out of people for cover charges to enter costume parties (see: Eve, New Year's). There will be a backlash...but not for a while. So, with that said, I'm going to be a willing participant. Im contributing with a list-- the 10 best sports figures and the costumes they could be wearing on Halloween. A lot of people dress up as their favorite sports figure on Halloween, right? But what do the sports figures themselves go as? I have a few hunches...
Chiefs Offensive Coordinator Charlie Weis: Rodney Dangerfield

Cubs Manager Mike Quade: Fire Marshall Bill

Former MLBer John Kruk: Chewbaca

Olympian Shaun White: The Wendys Girl

Brett Favre: Hans Moleman from "The Simpsons"

(and for those of you who didn't get that reference, click here)
Troy Polamalu: anybody from Twisted Sister

Joakim Noah: Troy Polamalu
Giants Pitcher Brian Wilson: James Brolin from The Amityville Horror
Former Washington Wizard Oleksiy Pecherov: Stewie from The Family Guy

Former Minnesota football coach Tim Brewster: Schleprock

With apologies to the Golden Gopher faithful, I couldnt think of a better cartoon character to represent the current state of the Minnesota football program: Bad Luck Schleprock from the Pebbles and Bamm Bamm show.

And with apologies to every adult who aspires to dress like The Situation from Jersey Shore on Halloween, its time to bag the costumes and turn the holiday back over to the kids. Let them have their holiday.

And go back to planning your New Years Eve party.

Or something like that.

Should Blackhawks' next assistant coach be Joel Quenneville's choice?

Should Blackhawks' next assistant coach be Joel Quenneville's choice?

On April 22, Blackhawks general manager Stan Bowman vented his frustrations on the team’s all-too-abrupt exit from the postseason, adding that he and coach Joel Quenneville, “are going to work together to make sure that this never happens again.”

There will be plenty of decisions for the two to mull between now and September, when the Blackhawks convene for training camp. When it comes to the assistant head coach vacancy, however, that might need to be decided with a more one-sided approach. That choice ultimately should be made by Quenneville.

In a recent podcast, Pat Boyle and I discussed the Blackhawks’ need to work together on some upcoming decisions. But with the assistant coach, the head coach has to have the loudest voice. The head coach probably should even have the final vote. The relationship between coaches has to be there because they’re around each other constantly. They’ve got to be on the same page. There has to be trust from Day 1.

As for when the Blackhawks name that assistant, there appears to be nothing imminent. A source said Monday that the Blackhawks and Ulf Samuelsson have been in communication about the job — Chris Kuc of the Tribune first reported on Samuelsson on Sunday. On paper it looks like it would be a great fit. Samuelsson and Quenneville played several seasons together with the Hartford Whalers, along with current Blackhawks assistant coach Kevin Dineen. The relationship with Samuelsson has been there for a long time and it would make for a smoother transition. It might also provide somewhat of a panacea for Quenneville after former assistant Mike Kitchen, whose friendship with Quenneville also went back to their playing days, was fired last month.

Earlier this month Bowman told the Sun-Times that Quenneville will have a big role in the Blackhawks’ finding their next assistant coach, with the final choice being a “joint collaboration.” We get that there’s an order to these things and everyone has to be in agreement with the final decision. But in the end the head coach has to be 100-percent happy with his immediate staff. So whoever the next assistant coach is, the decision has to be 100 percent Quenneville’s.

SportsTalk Live Podcast: How big of a piece is Luis Robert in the White Sox rebuild?

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USA TODAY

SportsTalk Live Podcast: How big of a piece is Luis Robert in the White Sox rebuild?

David Haugh (Chicago Tribune), Ben Finfer (ESPN 1000) and Kevin Fishbain (Northwest Herald) join CSN's David Kaplan on the panel. The Cubs new-look offense explodes while the Brewers are none too pleased with Saturday’s cancellation. Is there a budding rivalry between neighbors?

The White Sox get their man and sign Cuban prospect Luis Robert. How big of a piece is he in the rebuild?

Plus, the guys discuss how Mike Glennon will react when he meets the media, and they’ll try to figure out why Kap goes full meatball when LeBron James struggles.

Listen to the SportsTalk Live Podcast below. 

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