Random News: Top 10 guy movies of all time

Random News: Top 10 guy movies of all time

Tuesday, Nov. 9, 2010
12:28 PM

By Joe Collins
CSNChicago.com

I will bet you a million dollars that you haven't seen these things before:

A yoga instructor carrying a 12-pack of Schlitz

Kenny Rogers doing a cover of Naughty By Nature's "O.P.P."

Nursing home residents playing beer pong

Or even.

That kid from "Webster" playing quarterback for the New York Jets

See? Bet'cha haven't seen any of that before. I'm sure there are thousands of other things that you have never seen. Actually...well, now that I think about it, if you take a 95 mph fastball to the head you might see the kid from "Webster" do a lot of things. Who knows. But strangely, at some point during the course of your lifetime, I bet there's a good chance you might have seen the following things that are equally random:

Mike Tyson singing "In The Air Tonight" in a Las Vegas hotel room

Two guys wearing black suits and sunglasses zig-zagging through a shopping mall in an old Mount Prospect police car ("Baby clothes. This place has got everything.") http:www.youtube.comwatch?v=_oMtdXaqBx4

A cop, hanging off the roof of a skyscraper via fire hose, shooting his way through a window to get back inside the building

How do these miracles happen? Guy movies. That's how Guy movies make the improbable seem likely. And the un-ordinary seem ordinary. Guy movies have a way of making the bizarre, disgusting and juvenile seem commonplace. So don't be surprised if you see Kenny Rogers dishing out Naughty By Nature or even Wu Tang Clan covers in the near future.

But what makes a "guy movie" a really great, well, guy movie? Is it blood? Destruction? Violence? Explosions? Hot chicks? Crude humor? Sports? Gang warfare? Bombs? Zach Galifianakis? All of the above? I had a conversation with a few people the other night regarding what should be on the list of the greatest guy movies of all time. After about 27 seconds, our group had a list of 10. I'm sure we could have hit 50...100...even 200 movies if we had the time (and I'm sure we'd make time if given the chance!) But as the conversation ended, I started thinking further: it would be torturous trying to keep this list at an even 10. Some serious cuts would have to happen.

So in order to get to 10...I figured that there had to be some rules about "Guy Movies" to help finalize the list. Most of these should be universally accepted when talking about this topic: (A) A girl, while watching a guy movie, should always succeed at getting lost with the jokes. Girls aren't supposed to "get" guy movies. That defeats the purpose of it. (B) It has to be a movie that guys can quote easily. Guys love quoting guy movies. Girls hate that. And we love those movies more because of it. (C) The movie has to contain at least two (2) significant guy elements that were detailed in the previous paragraph (blood, sports, explosions...etc)

So here goes.

The 10 best 'Guy Movies' out there...as I see it:

10. Hoosiers (1986) - It was a close battle between Fast Times At Ridgemont High (Phoebe Cates exiting a swimming pool set to "Moving In Stereo" by the Cars nearly put that movie in the top 10 all by itself) and this movie, widely considered to be one of the best sports movies of all times about a 1950s high school basketball team from Indiana. And I bet a lot of guys will probably hate to admit this, but here's guessing the "picket fence" scene or the final scene made some of them a little misty. There, I said it.
9. The Hangover (2009) - Frankly, I wasn't the biggest fan of this movie when it first came out. I felt it was kind of run-of-the-mill and borrowed a lot from other movies (take the "Rain Man" casino scene for example). But I have to admit, the movie has everything that is perfect for this list: a guy getting Tasered in the junk, a bachelor party, Mike Tyson singing and a wild that nobody can remember. To not have this movie on the list would be a travesty.

8. Airplane! (1980) - The main reason this movie is on the list is because 99 of women will not get 99 of the jokes. To me, I think for a woman to enjoy a comedy there has to be some kind of emotional element unfolding on the screen (see: comedies, romantic. See also: Aniston, Jennifer). "Airplane" is the exact opposite: hundreds of quotable jokes at warp speed. To wit:

7. Caddyshack (1980) - What's great about this movie is the memorable lines: "It's in the hole!", "Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?", "Your uncle molests collies", "So I got that going for me, which is nice." Great stuff. And here's another thing about how cool the whole "Cinderella story" sequence is Bill Murray: it was all improvised.

6. The Godfather (1972) - Actually, this should read "and...The Godfather II" for the full effect. And let's pretend Godfther III never happened. What makes this a "guy movie" is quite simple: the guys rule the families. And violence can happen when respect falls by the wayside. There are too many good scenes to list, really. It's a movie that any guy can't refuse.

5. (Every James Bond Movie Ever Made) - Notice I didn't put "every Monty Python movie ever made" on this list. No real man likes Monty Python. You heard right. Sorry. 'Bond' is cool-- everything from his girls to the weapons to the slick style that Bond emulates This ranking would have appeared higher, but when a Bond guy like Pierce Brosnan appears in movies like "Mrs. Doubtfire," sorry.

4. Swingers (1996) - I forgot to mention one thing in the early paragraphs of this column which makes guy movie great: LAS VEGAS. The movie also teaches guys about how to leave a message on a girl's voice mail. That's vital. See? Guy movies can be educational. Vegas baby...Vegas. Did I mention this movie features Heather Graham?
3. Die Hard (1988) - I can't believe my parents let me see this movie when I was 10 years old. But I'm glad they did. Bruce Willis was the baddest yippie ki-yay m I had ever seen up to that point. One cop 30 terrorists a high rise building a truckload of explosives? That's guy movie perfection. Unfortunately, Bruce Willis did other things besides 'Die Hard'-- like the TV show "Moonlighting" and a few bile-producing Seagrams commercials:

2. Goodfellas (1990) - I'm willing to bet that 99.999 of the guys out there who see 'Goodfellas' end up with some desire to be in the mob in some way. I mean, how could you NOT want to be in the mob after seeing this? Cash, girls, alcohol and no rules whatsoever. What's not to like? And if someone talks down to you? You whack the guy. Game over. I can't even hear the word "Lufthansa" anymore without thinking dreams of getting filthy rich. The "May 11, 1980" scene might be one of the best ever put to film.
1. Animal House (1978) - How about that-- the top movie on this list features John Belushi in a starring role. You couldn't do that, Jim Belushi. Sorry. Speaking of "sorry," it's the funniest line uttered by our hero after going destructo on a wimpy guitar player:

Is it a great movie of critical acclaim? Maybe, maybe not. But in a way...that's what makes it so good. It's loud and out of control...and makes every guy wishing they were back at college again.

Others receiving votes: Old School, The Longest Yard, The Big Lebowski, Wedding Crashers (Rachel McAdams never looked better), Back To The Future, Fight Club, The Shining, Scarface, There's Something About Mary, The Terminator, Stripes, North Dallas Forty, Dirty Harry, Slap Shot, Hoosiers, any Rocky movie, The Deer Hunter, Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, The Naked Gun movies, Raging Bull, Cool Hand Luke, and any 'Rambo' movie. Heck, any Stallone movie. Well, except for 'Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot'.

And note: "Grease" did not come close to making this list.

Or something like that.

Do you agree of disagree with this list? Submit a comment below!

White Sox manager Rick Renteria won't be fazed by rebuild

White Sox manager Rick Renteria won't be fazed by rebuild

NATIONAL HARBOR, Md. -- Rick Renteria knew a White Sox rebuild would be a possibility when he took over as manager and he’s not afraid of the challenges it presents.

Same as he told them in October, the new White Sox manager said on Day 3 of the Winter Meetings on Wednesday that he’s OK with whatever direction the team chooses to head. Given the events of the past two days, when the White Sox reigned in four elite prospects in pair of blockbuster deals for Chris Sale and Adam Eaton, Renteria has a pretty firm grasp of what’s to come.

Shortly after trading they traded Sale to the Boston Red Sox for four minor leaguers on Tuesday, the White Sox acquired three top pitching prospects from the Washington Nationals for Eaton on Wednesday. Despite what promises to be an inexperienced roster in 2017, Renteria plans to take the same open-minded approach into next season as he always has regardless of the makeup of the roster.

“We're obviously going to miss Chris,” Renteria said several hours before the Eaton deal was completed. “He was an integral part of our organization and our team. My only concern is obviously whatever players, what group of players I have, those are the ones I have to manage. So at this point, we have what we have right now and we'll see how it continues.”

When he hired him on Oct. 3, general manager Rick Hahn said he did so in part because the Renteria could handle a veteran roster equally as well as a youthful one. Hahn mentioned Tuesday that the entire major league coaching staff has been restructured with player development in mind, including the additions of third-base coach Nick Capra and bullpen coach Curt Hasler.

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Regardless of whether or not the team planned to compete next season, Renteria expected to at least work with some younger players. It’s the way of the world, promoting prospects to the majors with the idea it’s the final step in their development, Renteria said. Renteria didn’t sound as if he’s worried if he was inundated with prospects.

“There was talks of the possibility, but there was nothing set in stone at the time obviously,” Renteria said. “Younger players are filtering in a lot sooner than they used to in the past. You still have to continue to teach at the Major League level, and that's one thing that's evident throughout.”

Renteria said the key to players young or old is communication. Either way his approach would mostly be the same.

“Every human being is the sum total of all their experiences, so you've got to get to know people first, see what it is that motivates them, what kind of clicks with them to get them to act out on certain things that you might have them perform on a more consistent basis,” Renteria said. “I think that baseball has its own language. It's something that is indescribable at times. But working with the younger guys, I relish it. I look forward to it.

"But I also look forward to working with older veteran players, too. It's the same. My approach doesn't change a lot, other than you give people with experience their place.”

White Sox deal Adam Eaton to Nationals for Lucas Giolito, two others

White Sox deal Adam Eaton to Nationals for Lucas Giolito, two others

NATIONAL HARBOR, Md. -- The White Sox completed another blockbuster deal at the Winter Meetings on Wednesday night, sending Adam Eaton to the Washington Nationals.

One day after they traded Chris Sale to Boston for four minor leaguers, including two elite prospects, the White Sox traded their outstanding leadoff man for three more top prospects, including pitchers Lucas Giolito and Reynaldo Lopez. Washington’s 2016 first-rounder Dane Dunning is also in the deal.

The Nationals’ top minor leaguer and MLB.com’s third-rated prospect in the game, Giolito was one of the main players included in a reported package for Sale only two days earlier. A first-round draft pick in 2012, the 22-year-old right-hander features an outstanding fastball-curveball combination.

Lopez is the No. 38 overall prospect in baseball and Dunning was selected with the 29 th pick in the June draft.

Giolito is the second top-5 prospect the White Sox have added in two days along with infielder Yoan Moncada, the 2016 minor league player of the year, who came over from Boston in the Sale trade. The White Sox also acquired right-hander Michael Kopech, the 30th overall prospect, in the Sale deal.