All rise! Cubs Kangaroo Court is now in session.
In today's case, plaintiff Starlin Castro suffered unsolicited tickling in the fourth inning of the May 8 Chicago Cubs vs. Miami Marlins game from defendant Kris Bryant.
A concerned fan tweeted at Chicago Police’s 14th District’s account asking if Bryant could get in trouble for the tickle offense.
Their verdict is in.
Amazing news. Kris Bryant is walking a free man with no charge for Aggravated Tickling. Which is good, cause we need you in the game tonight, Kris.